Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Joy 25

So, here's something interesting.

I overcommit at work, usually because I feel like I'm needed on certain projects and also need to prove my worth.  Then I get stressed trying to get all my work done.  So I overwork, thinking if I just get that last little thing done, I will be able to relax.  Except, I'm not able to relax, because I've been overworking and have built up that stupid pattern, which is hard to break out of.  I feel miserable and lose my sense of self.

Then, I overcommit some more.

Rinse, repeat.

And I wonder why I can't find my joy.

So, my joy for yesterday is in realizing that working more will not help me to relax or feel joyful.  Only making time for joy and being myself will help me feel more joyful.  But I have to overwork sometimes to remember this.  Duh and duh.  What can I say.  I'm a fool who must relearn the same lesson over and over again throughout my entire freaking life.

Also, I received a very beautiful sweater and some cash for my birthday, and though that may not be the deep kind of joy I think I'm seeking, it was still pretty awesome :).

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