Every August, I have these blog posts printed into a book. I read some of the old entries to the kids at night; others I don't. But someday I hope they will read the books, and know how much they are loved, and maybe know me a little better.
But at this moment, I think it is time to end toddlerspit. We are going through what my friend Helen calls a domestic apocalypse, and not being able to write about my whole self makes it hard to write at all. There is a possibility we may make it through and stay together; it is equally possible we will not. Either way, I want to be honest with you, to lay bare all of my fears and worries, ugly as they are, and yet can't betray confidences and details of what I am going through. Not being real, though, does more harm than good, to me and to you.
I accept your well wishes, and concern, and love as I write this. I know you are sending it our way.
Maybe there will be another blog in the future; maybe I will write a book; maybe I will just journal my way through this. I don't know. I have to let things happen as they will in that regard.
But I do know that writing this blog, and knowing that you have read it, and seen me a little better, and commented and supported and laughed and cried with me, has made me a better and more complete person. Thank you for joining me on this ride.