When I put Nolie to sleep at night, she asks me to put a bubble around her, her bubble of love. It's made of out of mommy love, daddy love, Addie love, the love of all the nanas and papas and aunties and uncles and cousins and friends and teachers, and even of all the people who don't know her but love her. It's made of the strongest thing in the world--love--and it can never break, and it keeps her safe and warm and nothing bad can happen while she's in there. It surrounds her all the time, even when she's forgotten about it. She can always call it up just by remembering it's there.
So, for today: I'm grateful for the joy of a million thoughtful blessings. Thanks to all of you for reminding me I'm surrounded in a bubble of love, too. I feel it, I do.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Joy 27
Morning walk. Church Ranch Ditch.
The sound of rain.
A glass of Wednesday wine.
Another week closer to summer.
The sound of rain.
A glass of Wednesday wine.
Another week closer to summer.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Joy 26
My joy for today is that I'm not going to work anymore tonight, but am instead going to crawl into bed with my husband, a glass of wine, and Jon Stewart.
Well, Jon won't be in bed with us, really. Though I wouldn't mind that.
bahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
Well, Jon won't be in bed with us, really. Though I wouldn't mind that.
bahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
Joy 25
So, here's something interesting.
I overcommit at work, usually because I feel like I'm needed on certain projects and also need to prove my worth. Then I get stressed trying to get all my work done. So I overwork, thinking if I just get that last little thing done, I will be able to relax. Except, I'm not able to relax, because I've been overworking and have built up that stupid pattern, which is hard to break out of. I feel miserable and lose my sense of self.
Then, I overcommit some more.
Rinse, repeat.
And I wonder why I can't find my joy.
So, my joy for yesterday is in realizing that working more will not help me to relax or feel joyful. Only making time for joy and being myself will help me feel more joyful. But I have to overwork sometimes to remember this. Duh and duh. What can I say. I'm a fool who must relearn the same lesson over and over again throughout my entire freaking life.
Also, I received a very beautiful sweater and some cash for my birthday, and though that may not be the deep kind of joy I think I'm seeking, it was still pretty awesome :).
I overcommit at work, usually because I feel like I'm needed on certain projects and also need to prove my worth. Then I get stressed trying to get all my work done. So I overwork, thinking if I just get that last little thing done, I will be able to relax. Except, I'm not able to relax, because I've been overworking and have built up that stupid pattern, which is hard to break out of. I feel miserable and lose my sense of self.
Then, I overcommit some more.
Rinse, repeat.
And I wonder why I can't find my joy.
So, my joy for yesterday is in realizing that working more will not help me to relax or feel joyful. Only making time for joy and being myself will help me feel more joyful. But I have to overwork sometimes to remember this. Duh and duh. What can I say. I'm a fool who must relearn the same lesson over and over again throughout my entire freaking life.
Also, I received a very beautiful sweater and some cash for my birthday, and though that may not be the deep kind of joy I think I'm seeking, it was still pretty awesome :).
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Joy 24
A quiet day of catching up on chores and a little bit of work and a lot of hanging out.
We've spent money on swim lessons for the girls, of course, but the single most important thing that has helped them to swim has been E. taking them to the pool, every weekend. Addie used to be afraid of putting her face in the water and wouldn't swim without a floaty. Now she can freestyle, and both girls do this:
Things like this feel like miracles when you've have to fight for such baby steps, and then they take big leaps on their own.
We had a yummy dinner, and then Addie cashed in on her birthday present, which was a shopping spree at the Brass Armadillo antique mall ($25 on mama). She had fun picking everything out, and I had a blast watching her evaluate everything for price, quality, texture, and whatever other ineffables seven-year-olds consider important (cuteness, cuddle-ability, oddity, etc.).
What she bought with her money: A doll for Nolie (the most expensive thing). A book for Nolie. A keychain with different kinds of plastic dollar bills attached. A fake barbie doll set (because there were eight pairs of shoes and a "wine" bottle and glasses and two outfits). A Care Bear. A jacks set.
Another perfect day.
We've spent money on swim lessons for the girls, of course, but the single most important thing that has helped them to swim has been E. taking them to the pool, every weekend. Addie used to be afraid of putting her face in the water and wouldn't swim without a floaty. Now she can freestyle, and both girls do this:
Things like this feel like miracles when you've have to fight for such baby steps, and then they take big leaps on their own.
We had a yummy dinner, and then Addie cashed in on her birthday present, which was a shopping spree at the Brass Armadillo antique mall ($25 on mama). She had fun picking everything out, and I had a blast watching her evaluate everything for price, quality, texture, and whatever other ineffables seven-year-olds consider important (cuteness, cuddle-ability, oddity, etc.).
What she bought with her money: A doll for Nolie (the most expensive thing). A book for Nolie. A keychain with different kinds of plastic dollar bills attached. A fake barbie doll set (because there were eight pairs of shoes and a "wine" bottle and glasses and two outfits). A Care Bear. A jacks set.
Another perfect day.
Joy 23
The perfect re-entry. I was so wiped out from crying over Pru and traveling and trying to hold it together, and E let me sleep in, then brought me coffee. I finally got up and started one of the 20 loads of laundry we had to do this weekend (Pru had fouled a couple of the beds, unfortunately) and then we took Milo for a walk up at Church Ranch ditch. The sun did us all good.
We hung laundry on the line all day, worked in the garden, but not too strenuously, and eventually I succombed to the call of the hammock. E and I looked at each other and said, simultaneously "margaritas."
We put the call out on Facebook, and friends filtered in and out all day. I realized my new favorite word was "togetherness."
So, so glad to be home.
We hung laundry on the line all day, worked in the garden, but not too strenuously, and eventually I succombed to the call of the hammock. E and I looked at each other and said, simultaneously "margaritas."
We put the call out on Facebook, and friends filtered in and out all day. I realized my new favorite word was "togetherness."
So, so glad to be home.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
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