Strange European Signs

So...pretty much nobody wants to eat a funky burger.  Am I right?  Then again, maybe if it's a pure funky burger, like in a George Clinton sort of way, it might be okay.  But make sure you order it with some picklezzzz!

This is some sort of networking organization for bodybuilding communist apple-pickers.  Or for naked people whose ideas are so good they are on fire.   I'm not sure.

It's in English, but I still need a translation  It's a sign in the restroom at a bar.  Is Crystal Clear encouraging you to do a self-breast exam?  And maybe to make an appointment for a colonoscopy?  Or is it saying, hey, you're drunk from drinking too much Crystal Clear!  Make sure your boobies and your booty are covered up after you pee, because you are a woman in control!  Or is it saying, Crystal Clear only has one calorie, which will keep your boobies and booty small and in control?  Also, why is there an exclamation point after Booby Check but not Booty Check?  Is the Booby Check more exciting?