I should be vacuuming right now, but I'm not. It's been so hot that Milo is dropping hair faster than a starlet drops panties and there are tumbleweeds of dog hair blowing through my house.
What I mean to say is that I'm discombobulated. Took the girls to the dentist this morning for their six-month check-up because I am a responsible and luckily-insured parent. I expected a clean report just like always. E.? Fine. Nolie? Fine. Myself? Fine. Addie?
Not so fine.
The kid has two cavities.
She has one cavity and then a monster cavity.
Because that means she needs one filling, and one "pulpectomy." Otherwise known as a baby root canal. Otherwise known as making pulp of her sweet little gums, which have been hurting her for the last two weeks.
What could have caused such a thing?
Well, it turns out that while everything was totally fine one year ago, now her enamel is eroding at some sort of alarming rate. Dr. Jeff, who is a good dentist but not exactly tops in the charming department, informed me that it could be that we're feeding her too frequently.
Has he seen her? I can't get meat on that child's bones to save my life.
Anyway, "frequent feedings" might just be leaving gunk on her teeth too much.
I asked about sugar.
Cue: guilt, guilt, guilt. I'm the one with the sweet tooth and have often taken my family along for the ride.
I asked about protein.
Cue: guilt, guilt, guilt. I'm the vegetarian and really would rather not make chicken. Maybe having more protein would have strengthened my baby's enamel.
Also, I have not made Addie floss every night. I get tired around bed time and am sometimes a very lazy person when it comes to getting people ready for bed.
Things like this upset me. I hate to know that my kid is going to have to go through this and be in a bunch of pain. I hate to think there is something I might have done, or not done, to cause this. I'm also bummed about by this judgmental side of me.
Off to the specialty children's dentist we go, though, guilty or not.
After leaving the dentist's office this morning, we went and bought Addie Harry Potter 7, which she earned through good behavior (that's another blog post) and the girls were hungry, so we hit Whole Foods. Normally we'd buy muffins and juice. Today they just got to have a peach each.
I was still feeling distraught, that uneasy and unidentifiable anxiety, and though I had child care for an hour, I thought about canceling and not going to yoga.
But I've been around my own nonsense for long enough to know that I needed to go. So I went. And here's what I realized:
I'm most upset by the fact that I can't control this situation. But, it's not as if I haven't tried to control things. So, welcome to your life. There will be things that happen that you couldn't prevent, my dear, and there will be pain and bummers and this is a useful thing to have happen because, again, you get to practice patience and grace.
I've calmed down a little bit. We'll see how I do when they give my baby laughing gas.