Sunday, February 10, 2013

Weird Things That, in Combination, Are Awesome

Remember that time?  That time when I really wanted a snack and so I ate pretty much every two hours, and it was usually chips and salsa or something bready or sweet?  And then I wonder why I'm so sleepy everyday at 3pm, so sleepy I want to die, and then chug a bunch of coffee just to avoid dying, and then wonder why I can't fall asleep at night and instead stay up googling strange health maladies?

Drinking coffee also really triggers a strong desire in me to have some sort of baked good.  Or an entire gourmet chocolate bar.

Then there was that time when I looked in my pantry and saw 25 half-eaten boxes and bags of things, many of them "health" foods, that sounded like a good idea after I read some magazine article extolling their virtues?  But then all I really wanted was chips and salsa?  And some of those bags of health foods have seriously expired and may have bugs living in them?  So I just pretend they don't exist and reach for some Greek yogurt and chocolate chips?

Okay.  That time is every two hours of every day.

Except today!
E. took the girls swimming so I could snack and read In Style in peace.  For once.

Today, I had a healthy snack.  I pulled out that two-year-old carton of prunes which, I know some of you love them, but are pretty much disgusting even when they're not two years old.  I understand their health benefits, but the texture.  Guh.  And almonds! which I eat every morning via my delicious whole-made granola but which otherwise are sort of meh.  And some green tea, which I would probably drink more often if it didn't get in the way of my coffee-chugging.

And goat cheese.  Not that healthy, but holy shit when you mix it with prunes and almonds?  Freaking heavenly.

It helps to eat on some lovely pottery, too, which I've been collecting piecemeal from the thriftstore.  Much to E.'s consternation, because when you collect piecemeal nothing really stacks right and may sometimes fall over on to your head when you open the cabinet door, and he also ends up blowing neurons and stacking bowls with plates or trying to put forks with cups.  IT'S NOT THAT HARD IF IT'S ROUND AND HOLDS SLOSHY THINGS AND DOESN'T HAVE A HANDLE IT'S A BOWL, FOOL.  Plus, how long have you lived here?  The coffee cups go in the cabinet ABOVE THE COFFEE MAKER.  Because I am a supremely logical person.  Welcome to ten years of marriage, let me give you a tour of where the dishes go.  Again.

To his credit, we had a lot of dishes there for a while.  We had the plain cream Pottery Barn dishes that were on our registry but that cracked pretty much on day two, making me instantly despise them for filling me with buyer's remorse, but which I then refused to let go of because they were expensive dammit, and then we had my great-grandmother's and great-great-aunt's china sets, which were also cracked and missing many pieces because those two ladies hated each other and pretty much every meal ended with somebody throwing a dish, which is why there is not one teacup left in the whole thing.  I'm having a hard time getting rid of them but at least they're tucked in a way in that useless cabinet about the fridge.

When people give you everything it is very nice, I love it, I am a whore for hand-me-downs, and I realize what I'm about to say is obnoxiously privileged but sometimes you want to choose your own things, you know?  Not with most things.  But maybe with dishes.  Thus the pottery collecting.

By the way, I didn't eat all those almonds, or prunes, or goat cheese in that picture.  That would have been about 3,000 calories, I'm guessing.  But sometimes it's nice to serve yourself more than you need with the possibility that you could eat it all if you wanted.

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