I haven't disappeared, not permanently, anyway. I ended up heading to Idaho Saturday night, and made it just in time to say goodbye to my Grandpa, who passed the next morning. Addie's had the flu, and both girls stayed home Friday and Monday. So today and tomorrow are long days of catching up at work. Work, by the way, is a bit crazy, with talk of increased teaching loads and decreasing salaries. Interesting stuff.
But, a few epiphanies to share, briefly:
1. I can choose to be happy, no matter what. Isn't that amazing?
2. Whereas in the past few years I spent a lot of time wishing I could be in bed longer, resting, or just wandering around the house, or just sitting, in the past few days I realized that I like to get up in the morning. I like most of what I get to do everyday. The only time I feel unhappy is when I wish I was doing something other than I'm doing. If I stay in the present, I'm pretty stoked. But I also still like laying in bed or wandering around the house. If that's what I happen to be doing.
3. It's hard to visualize the future, and where you want your life to go, if you're focused on staying happy in the present. Unless you just want to visualize yourself being happy in the future, too. That works.
4. There are times when I don't feel happy. That builds compassion, demonstrates my tremendous humanity (flaws, flaws, beautiful flaws!), and allows me to recalibrate. Feeling unhappy is also a gift. And having a big cry often makes my body feel lots better.
Kay. That's it for now. I'll write more soon. I have in mind an essay called "In Defense of the Chic Flick," which is not about what you think. But we'll see if it makes daylight.